Coaching for success
I help you make decisions anchored in your deepest values so your future self is at
Absolute Peace.
Not every decision comes with a good or bad option to choose from, sometimes both options that life throws at you are either both too good or too bad, and yet you have to make that difficult choice.
That is the dilemma of a dilemma. No matter what you choose, you might still have a regret.
You have to choose your future regrets ~ Christopher Hitchens
Making decisions with internal alignment
Dilemma Coaching: Making a value driven choice
Every once in a while, everyone comes across a crossroad where one needs to make a choice – should you take the less travelled path or follow the herd? The decision is not easy.
We tend to delay the decision often weighing the positives and negatives of the choices. However, the positives or negatives are usually emerging from our own biases and experiences and we don’t realize it. Those biases drive a choice which we may not like later and regret our decision.
Christopher Hitchens says “it is not about the choice we have to make, it is about the regret that we can live with.”
Acknowledge
It is important to acknowledge that at a moment in time, with the information available, we have to make a choice to move ahead.
Align
Discover your core values that cannot be compromised in any situation. Align yourself to those core values.
Decide
Make a decision that aligns to your core values. If values are compromised the remorse is more.
What is Dilemma and Dilemma Coaching?
Think about a situation. You are driving on the highway, suddenly the fuel indicator starts to blink. What do you do? Yes, you find the nearest fuel station and fill up the fuel. That was problem you solved. Here is another situation. You walk into a coffee shop. You want to order coffee. The barista asks, large, medium or small. You pick – medium. That was a choice you made.
Not all our problems or all our choices are as simple as mentioned in the situations above. Many of our problems are – dilemmas. Problems or choices often have clear answers, dilemmas don’t. Dilemma is usually a situation that has two (or more) options which often yield unfavorable or unsatisfactory results. In other words, in dilemma situations one often keeps on thinking about the option that was not taken.
Hence, dilemma is not a problem to be solved; it is a conflict that needs to be navigated. The conflict that arises from our values, needs, experiences, assumptions and paths that we prefer. The conflict creates confusion. Choosing one option doesn’t eliminate the longing of other. It just changes the stakes.
Dilemma Coaching is a structured coaching approach which helps the coachee to:
- See a dilemma with clarity
- Explore the values, beliefs and assumptions that make it hard
- Take steps towards purposeful action
- Take ownership of the decision to avoid future regrets.
60 Minutes Per Session
5 Sessions
1:1
Your Dilemma, Your Decision
What to expect in Dilemma Coaching?
Like any other coaching process, dilemma coaching also assumes that the coachee is the one who understands their dilemma best and are in the best position to make the necessary choice. Coach holds the space so that the coachee becomes aware of the dilemma, understands the conflicting values, explores available options, overcomes assumptions and takes ownership of their decision.
A typical dilemma coaching session varies between 3-5 sessions. Every session is 60 minutes spread across 3-5 weeks or less. A typical 5 session dilemma coaching would look like following:
Session 1: Define the Dilemma
This session allows the Coach and Coachee to establish clarity around the dilemma. This is to create awareness that it is not a simple problem with a right or wrong answer, but there are undlying values which are at conflict and dilemma emerges becuase of them.
Session 2: Explore the Values in Conflict
This session allows the Coach and Coachee to explore the values that are driving the opposing options of the dilemma. This session enables clarity about the underlying values at tension and makes it visible to think about the values rather than options.
Session 3: Explore options
This session allows the Coach and Coachee to explore the options and become aware of what is at stake. What options does the coachee has and at what cost. What area of coachee’s life gets impacted if one option is chosen over the other.
Session 4: Define the assumptions and blindspots
Coachee dives deeper to unravel the hidden assumptions and challenge the rules, values, preferences that make the dilemma feel impossible to resolve. Coach challenges the certainty of coachee’s assumptions and hold space for coachee’s clarity.
Session 5: Anchor and Accountability
The last session is where the Coachee makes a final decision about the preferred option and converts it to a concrete action. Coach creates the safe space where coachee is comfortable to make a decision, the decision might not be perfect but it is a decision that coachee can own.
Ready to tackle your Dilemma!
Make the decisions that are aligned to your values. Decisions that you can own, that you are accountable for. Decisions that you have made with clarity. Decisions whose regrets you can live with!
Not Sure Yet?
Let’s hop on to a 30 minute call to understand how mentoring can help you achieve mastery in your skills and establish your path forward to a successful career.