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Being Emotionally Intelligent


Emotional Intelligence is one of few keywords that keep making buzz in the coaching paradigm. More often than not people think that it is about being aware about one’s emotions. Although, that is just one aspect of it. There is more to being emotionally intelligent.

What is Emotional Intelligence?

In the simplest terms emotional intelligence is the ability of a person to recognize and understand emotions within and others. And the persons ability to use this awareness to manage behavior and relationships.

It is about becoming aware of one’s emotions, experiencing them and then taking control of those emotions so that they do not cloud one’s ability in decision making situations where rational thought process is needed. For ex: If you are soldier in war zone and one of your buddies gets hit by a bullet; in that situation if you get engrossed in your emotions of sadness, loss then you would not be able to think rationally and can risk your life as well as the life of your injured buddy. Instead, you become aware of your emotion, label it and let go of it, then you would have better chances of saving your as well as your buddies life.

Emotional Intelligence impacts how we manage our behavior, our relationships and make decisions that could yield positive results.

Emotional Intelligence Competence and Skills

Two core competencies and four core skills form the foundation of Emotional Intelligence. The competencies include – Personal Competence and Social Competence. The core skills are – Self Awareness, Self Management, Social Awareness and Relationship Management.

Personal Competence, is all about focusing on your own emotions and managing your behavior with this awareness.

Social Competence, is one’s ability to realize and understand the emotions, moods, behavior and motives of others. And use this awareness to manage and cultivate better relationships.

Personal Competence includes the skills – self-awareness and self-management.
Self-Awareness is one’s ability to perceive and understand one’s own emotions and stay aware of them as they happen.
Self-Management is one’s ability to use Self-Awareness to remain flexible and positively direct in one’s behavior.

Social Competence includes the skills – social awareness and relationship management.
Social Awareness is the ability of a person to easily perceive the emotions of other and understand what is actually going on.
Relationship Management is all about being aware of one’s own emotions and emotions of others. And then using this awareness to interact successfully.

Being Emotionally Intelligent

Being emotionally intelligent does not just mean that we are aware of our own emotions. To be really emotionally intelligent one has to accurately perceive and understand one’s own emotions plus emotions of others. And then utilize this awareness to tailor one’s behavior with self, and others to have more meaningful interactions and relationships.

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